…she wants her shoes back from the set of Reality Bites (circa ‘94).
Really Dualstar?
Man, it was tough to choose that Winona line. I could have gone with Shannon Doherty, Alyssa Milano, or anyone else who had the misfortune to be in the limelight and photographed while fashion trends had them wearing neon scrunchies in their hair and clogs on their feet.
Now make no mistake about it, I have a soft spot in my heart for both Ashley and Mary Kate… and maybe I hold them to a higher fashion standard knowing that they have the cash to dress themselves in absolutely anything they want… but come on. Ladies, I’m all for the comfortable, dressed down look – it goes along with my love for makeupless faces – but this is pushing it. Ashley Olsen is at the airport, just stepping off the plane from what I sincerely hope was an international flight. I have no qualms with her from the waist up, and I’m actually cool with the oversized, boyfriend, pajama pants for about the first 24 inches (forgetting that the hip area looks like just a toga or bed sheet wrapped around her). I’d say things derail and fall apart at right around the calf area.
You see, it’s at this point in your eye’s quick journey down her body that you begin squinting a perplexed squint, and wondering whether these ultra-flowy pants might actually be a floorlength cotton skirt? Your mind jumps around frantically – “who wears a long skirt on a plane?” - “that torn non-hem at the bottom feels more like a pant leg. Yeah, definitely pants” – “but wait, they’re too short to be pants right?” – “oh God, i give up. you just dont look good.”
clogs are sexy
And all this before you even make your way to her shoes… and when I say “shoes” I actually mean clogs. Yes clogs, as in the wooden inspiration for the ever-so-celebrated Crocs phenomenon of 2007. Aside from being obviously unattractive and seemingly uncomfortable, I don’t know that these little foot shaped boats offer any orthopedic benefits either. They could be fun at a lake though – you tape a little stick pointing up in the center and use your sandwich wrapper as a sail.. you made a working model dingy! The ones Ashley’s wearing appear to be Swedish style clogs, backless with a wooden sole and rounded leather front. These are slightly more acceptable – but still, no.
Girls, dress down all you want. It’s sexy. It shows that you don’t really care a ton about looking perfectly put together (which again is sexy), and makes your natural beauty all the more obvious. But my vote is that you stop shy of the bag lady look. You want a guy to take you out to dinner because he wants to date you, not because he’s a good samaritan who thinks he’s feeding a poor homeless girl.
