I’m fine with all the Michael Jackson coverage – most talented and most famous musician of all time has died. I’m NOT fine with the coverage of Jon & Kate +8′s tumultuous relationship problems – two people whose only talent is baby-making, are cheating, fighting, and embarrassing themselves and their children. However, I have left them alone… until now. Until today, when I learned that Jon Gosselin (reportedly adulterous father to sextuplets, and doormat husband to tyrant Kate) is partnering with French fashion designer Christian Audigier to design a line of childrens clothing.
Jon Gosselin Hardy
Wow. It just became apparent to me that I haven’t publicly shared my strong dislike for everything Christian Audigier. Let’s take care of that real fast. Even if you haven’t heard the name Christian Audigier – you’ve definitely heard of and seen his brands, Ed Hardy and Von Dutch, adorning the bodies of grossly self-conscious men throughout the country for years. Make no mistake, Christian is a bonafied genius. Anyone who will dispute that is just jealous and wrong. He’s a marketing phenom and an entrepreneurial powerhouse who knows how to create “cool”… and more important to his pocketbook, he knows how to capitalize on that “cool” financially – fast and furious. His brand Von Dutch rose to ridiculous heights in a microsecond, and the astronomically overpriced product line carried an unparalleled profit margin. He got in, got out, and made b-a-n-k! So yes, he’s good at what he does and he’s successful… but that doesn’t mean his style is acceptable to my eyes or friendly with my gag reflex. I think Ed Hardy t-shirt art is offensively unattractive and carries a generally unsoulful vibe. Ok, enough bashing… my point here is not about Christian starting yet another tragic company, it’s about Jon “baby daddy times 8″ Gosselin becoming a “designer” for one of them. What the hell??!!?
Jon Gosselin is a style maven.
I was an early viewer of Jon & Kate +8 (and proud of it. I’m not scared), so I know that before Jon took his job as an unemployed adulterer, he worked as an IT Analyst for the state of Pennsylvania. I’m sure he had a chance to cultivate his fashion sense and design perspective at that desk. Throughout the show, we had the pleasure of watching Jon’s personal style and wordrobe choices progress from oversized cargo shorts with white Hanes tees, to oversized cargo shorts with screaming billboard Ed Hardy tees. The pictures above illustrate some of the fashion trendsetting Jon has been doing – doesnt he look so comfortable in that brown crewneck sweater over the pink button-down?
Well Jon and Christian are teaming up to create a line of kids clothing… clearly it’s nothing more than a media stunt, crafted by the artful hands of Mr. Market Manipulator. If you want to do something in kids apparel, and you want to make a splash the way C.A. always does, it seems obvious to bring on the overly controversial anti-daddy of the year who just so happens to be tabloid Viagra at the moment… and call him a “designer”. The downside, from my perspective, is that stunts like this cheapen the term and the profession.
The Shawn White Inspired youtube commercial comes to mind. It’s a self-depricating commercial where Shawn pokes fun at the notion of Target partnering with random celebrities (himself) to quote-unquote design clothing, check it out.
1. Micheal Jackson was a musician? what did he play? Entertainer let’s leave it there.
2. Von Dutch was/is not Audiger’s brand, he simply worked for them.
Thanks for commenting Mitch. Sorry it took me a bit to reply:
1. Yes, Michael Jackson was a musician. He was a ridiculously talented songwriter and singer. Some of his biggest hit started as beats and hooks inside his head. He would beatbox them on a rough track… and then the instrumentation would be developed to mimic his vocal beatbox track. Some of the final, released recordings actually keep his original rough voice track in the master. He also was responsible for the arrangement in many of his songs. So, yes, I think he was a musician. I respect your differing opinion, but I can’t imagine what other amazing artists you would say aren’t musicians simply because they don’t perform with an instrument in hand.
2. True, Christian Audigier did not own Von Dutch… though he was the primary force behind the brand’s growth and is credited with its success. Are you an Audigier fan? Did you/do you support his brands? Are you reading this blog right now while wearing a bedazzled Ed Hardy t-shirt and a patched Von Dutch trucker hat tilted to the side?